Divorce is Much More Than a Legal Process

Divorce is Much More Than a Legal Process

Dr. Linda Hancock

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Dr. Hancock has written a regular weekly column entitled “All Psyched Up” for newspapers in two Canadian provinces for more than a dozen years. Over the years, her readers and clients have said that they have benefited from her common-sense solutions, wisdom, and sense of humour. Dr. Linda Hancock, the author of “Life is An Adventure…every step of the way” and “Open for Business Success” is a Registered Psychologist who has a private practice in Medicine Hat. She can be reached at 403-529-6877 or through email office@drlindahancock.com

Published

March 22 2009

Often, I hear individuals who are divorcing state: "I can hardly wait until this is over". They have the hope that a legal decree will give them peace freedom and a new sense of identity. What they don't understand, however, is that divorce is much more than a legal process. In fact, there are four specific areas of life that are affected by divorce as follows:

Financial concerns - There are a number of things that need to be decided before a divorce can be finalized. All assets, liabilities, income and expenses need to be determined so that matrimonial property can be divided while Child Support and spousal support are calculated. Preparing budgets for each of the partners is also important when it comes to financial decision-making.
Parental concerns - If the couple has children, there are several things that need to be considered during a divorce. Topics of concern include who and how decisions will be made for the children. Where they will live, the contact they will have with each parent and how their needs will be paid for are also important considerations. Because children are often "caught in the middle" of a war waged by the two people they love, communication between the parents and with each of the children will assist everyone during and after the transition.
Emotional concerns - Frequently parents are so angry, upset, hurt or resentful that they consciously or unconsciously sabotage the divorce process. The result is further hurt and negative emotions as well as additional lawyer's fees. When one person doesn't provide information, attend meetings or work towards resolution of issues, both parties as well as the children are affected.
Legal matters - Once accurate information about financial and parental concerns are documented, the parties can file for a divorce decree. This is done through mediation, collaboration, arbitration or litigation (in Court with the judge). Even when the final document is received, however, there can be ongoing problems regarding custody, access or financial contributions which require further legal actions.

Divorce can be a very complex process which is complicated by the emotional maturity of the parties involved. Even when things are at their worst, however, those who choose to view life as an adventure will be able to experience some peace, a sense of fun and hope for the future.