Overwhelmed

I remember meeting an airline attendant in Virginia Beach who was seeking mentorship from the same man who I had searched out.  When asked about her passion and desire to help people, she stated that she wanted to teach people how to deal with their sense of being overwhelmed.  Her career allowed her to see thousands of individuals over the years and there apparently was a common noticeable pattern amongst them. They all felt overwhelmed.

If you are feeling this way, perhaps the following tips will help you to make some positive changes:

1. Keep it simple – If you live alone near a greenhouse, perhaps you don’t need to have a half-acre garden.  Replacing a five-bedroom home with a condo might be a good choice for a single person.  Getting rid of clothing that went out of style or hasn’t fit for years will likely give you a sense of control and freedom.
2. Choose and honour priorities – Would you rather spend all of your family time in the kitchen preparing multiple dishes of food or instead enjoy time with the individuals around the table?  Which, if any, charities do you want to support and how?  Just because you spent most of your days doing a certain thing in the past doesn’t mean that you need to continue doing that.  Time to reflect and commit to the things that you feel are most important to you.
3. Stop taking on new projects – One of my clients loves to get tattoos but is not very good at setting boundaries.  Sometimes I jokingly suggest that he have the word “NO” tattooed on his forehead so that others could see it before he says “OK”!   As people pleasers, we often agree to do things that we don’t really have time or inclination to do, only to feel exhausted and resentful afterwards.  You only have so many hours in a day and need to focus on your own mess before agreeing to clean up the mess of someone else.
4. Sort things categories – Start organizing by putting like things together.  I smile thinking about a song on “Sesame Street” that my children and I enjoyed when they were younger.  The lyrics are “One of these things is not like the others.  Which one is it?  Do you know?”  Go around your house and yard, gathering up items that you can store in categories.  All mail and papers together.  Tools in one location.  Mixing bowls in the same cupboard.  Once you have sorted things, they are easier to find and also to cull appropriately.
5. Eliminate before accumulating – Have a shredder handy as you open the mail so that you can avoid piling up things that you really don’t need.  When you are looking for something and are surprised to find things that you haven’t used in ages, get rid of them.  When working with hoarders over the years, I have found that they are much more willing to let go of items when they know that someone else will use and enjoy them than if they are just going to be removed from their possession.  Find new homes for unused items.
6. Make lists – A client once told me that he had a thousand things to do and was surprised when I wrote them down as he dictated.  There were only seven!  (By the way, only have ONE list or you will become overwhelmed with lists).  It is fun to cross off things as they are done, and you will feel satisfaction with your accomplishments.
7. Dedicate specific hours to complete tasks – Commit to spending a specific time that will not be interrupted on a regular basis for tasks. For years, I have saved Wednesdays (without clients) to do administrative projects for my business and this has brought amazing results.
8. Ask for help – You can’t always find willing unpaid help, but it is usually very beneficial to hire someone for specific purposes. A professional organizer, financial planner or housekeeper can usually turn chaos into calm in short order.
9. Practice self-care – Remember to do things that keep you in your best form. Get enough rest, eat nutritionally, exercise regularly, and include activities in your life that give both emotional and spiritual pleasure as well as growth.
10. Value yourself – You deserve to have a good life of health and happiness. Taking care of your environment and well-being are your own responsibility.  You are the one who has the power and ability to choose how to protect and improve your situation.  Start today to move towards the dreams that you wish to see realized.