The Time is Now

Over the years I have worked with people who handled life and stress well – until they couldn’t.  Many had buried their problems and just tried to carry on without resolving any issues.  Trouble was like an empty glass that filled and filled until finally it overflowed.  No one really saw what had happened over time and were deceived into thinking that just one small incident could have such a powerful negative result.  They didn’t see how the glass had been filling up for a while.

Sometimes I have heard clients say that they don’t know who they are or how to find themselves.  I have compared this to the process of trying to remove paint from a door.  You apply a strong liquid remover and then, with a scraper try to remove the old paint that is bubbling up.  What a surprise to realize that under the outer layer is a layer of green.  More scaping reveals pink, then white.  Each layer has covered the one before it.  Finally, you get down to the original wood. Playing roles and pretending has hidden your true self until it is almost impossible to remember your values and identity.

This month I heard a client describe his situation in a very poignant manner.  He stated that each traumatic experience he had was like a rock put in his life’s backpack. Despite adding stones over time, he was able to carry the load. Then suddenly, he was betrayed by those whom he had trusted.  This circumstance didn’t add stones to the backpack.  Instead, it took away all his energy so that he was no longer able to carry the load or do what he had previously been able to do with little effort.

Each of us has had problems, issues and hurts in our lives.  You might relate to one of these three descriptions.  Perhaps you have been ignoring stress while your emotional glass has been filling up.  Maybe you have been acting and pretending that you are someone who isn’t your true self.  Have you been adding rocks to your load and trusting people who are not trustworthy for too long?

Regardless of which situation might apply to you, I know that the results are similar.  You are likely feeling overwhelmed, confused, and helpless.

The good news is that it is never too late to turn things around.  You might need help, but help is available.  Psychologists who are trained and experienced with problem-solving are just one phone call away.

Some of you are still managing to function even though you realize that the glass is filling, the original wood is covered, and the backpack is heavy.  I am wondering why you aren’t doing anything about this knowing that things are getting worse

There isn’t any better time than right now to make some positive choices and changes.

It’s all up to you!