So often people agree to do things that they really don't want to do. They may be afraid that if they don't agree, they will not fit in or actually be rejected by others. This can be particularly difficult when family members are involved. There are many times, however, that saying "no" will protect you from being hurt or becoming resentful.
- Co-signing a loan or lending money to others - My dad was a Credit Union Manager who stated that it is never a good idea to do this. If you have enough money that you want to give it to someone, then go ahead. If someone wants to borrow money, you have to lend it with the idea that you might never see it again. And when it comes to co-signing for a loan, you have to accept the fact that the other person might miss payments and then you will end up with a house or vehicle and a debt that you really don't need or want.
- Having sex with someone you barely know - Romance and the honeymoon phase is always exciting but if you just hop into bed with a person before you know their character, you could easily end up being a single parent, patient in a Sexually Transmitted Disease Clinic or unemployed and facing a criminal charge. Don't let passion and impulsivity determine how you will have to live the rest of your life.
- Moving in together - I am surprised by how many people meet and then set up house together before they have done any courting. The other night I was listening on Sirius XM radio to a psychotherapist who was telling her listeners that you should never start living with someone until you have spent at least a year getting to know them. Otherwise, any money that you would save by sharing bills will likely be used up talking to lawyers and therapists when things don't work out.
- When the job offer doesn't match your skills and personality - Often people are flattered when they are offered a promotion or a position that has status. You have to remember, though, that once you accept the job, you will be working in it for at least a third of your waking hours. It is better to enjoy what you do than to be unhappy and perhaps experience health problems because you are in the wrong position.
- Allow another person to break the law - When you lend your vehicle to someone who doesn't have a license, you are just being foolish. Any accident that they have will be in your car and on your insurance. Letting people who are underage abuse substances is also not wise. No matter how much teens beg or try to coerce you, it is illegal to supply drugs or alcohol to them and just plain irresponsible to even knowingly let them use when you know darn well that they are underage. Also, make sure that adults are not driving when they have been using or you may very well have regrets that you will need to live with for years.
- Agree to lie for another person - When you tell one lie then you have to tell another to cover it up. Then you need to tell another to cover that one up. This goes on until finally you forget what the first lie was. And in the meantime, you lose your reputation and the trust that others had placed in you!
- Activities that steal your health or sanity - When your employer wants you to work without getting adequate rest, you are putting yourself and all those around you at risk. When your child tries to convince you that they are the boss, you eventually lose your self-respect and sanity. When your friends want you to party all the time, you can jeopardize the things that you have worked hard to establish and opportunities for the future.
Know yourself and your limits. It is important to establish boundaries that will protect you or you just might end up losing your financial standing, career, reputation, relationships and health.